Black Swan vs. The Roommate

VS

Hmmmmm where do I begin??


Well lets see...since I saw "Black Swan" first, I guess it's only logical I start with this film.

Natalie mothafuckin Portman

  aka "The Touch Myself Princess"


 WOW!!!!

Ok, so I know I'm completely ruining the movie for anyone who hasn't seen it but OH EM GEE McGhee!! This bitch (and I use that term in the most endearing context possible) went full throttle in her little vagina monologue debut. I mean, risque to say the least. But in all my years of watching late night Showtime TV MA flicks, I have NEVER witnessed a scene like that.


I know that the former really isn't a detrimental part to the movie but then again, I am far from a conventional human being. I can base my ratings on films by a scene or even down to one damn sentence, regardless if the whole entire movie sucked.
         *Case and Point* "Cabin Fever" --- one of thee DUMBEST features ever created but I loved it due to the ending, "Whatup my nigga?!" (if you haven't seen it, please do!)

But yea, not to say that "Black Swan" isn't a good motion picture bc it actually is when I think about it. If you're into psychological thrillers, you'd probably enjoy it. But I'm just saying, kudos to Nattie P. for teaching me how to masturbate. I definitely wasn't aware I was supposed to turn over and hump pillows but HEY; learn something new everyday guy!

Ummmmmmmm

"The Roommate"........basically a modern day "Single White Female" only with pretty actresses and HOT guys!

OMG whores!!!

When I say "hot guy alert"? I mean "HOT GUY ALERT"!! Fuck the crazy, bi-polar chick and the slut-in-hiding protagonist.

The boyfriend alone makes it a must see. But then again this is coming from a single, 3 week sexually deprived skeeza so idk.

But yea, definitely a spin off of "SWF" but it was cute. I wouldn't say it was anything spectacular because nothing really stood out except for a few lines of crazy. BUT if you have some time and feel like hanging with some friends or just looking for some laughs, then I'd suggest you take a gander.


Now as far as which one I'd choose?


Mothafuckin "Black Swan" of course!!!! For anyone wanting to learn how to properly please yourself, this one takes the cake!!

Addicted to BBM

Ok.

So if you are a Blackberry owner then you know how CRAPPY the phone essentially is (shut up IPhone users). They're always freezing and you constantly have to take the battery out. And let's not get started on how long it takes to ACTUALLY reboot *bbm can't watch* smh. 

With that said, you'd have to be #TeamBlackberry in order to understand why we put up with it...

The BLACKBERRY MESSENGER!!!

or otherwise known as "BBM".

This feature is the ONLY reason that the Crackberry is still in business.

For loyalty purposes, I shall not betray my team and speak of how FAST the Iphone is, or about all the uber cool apps it possesses. I have been an advocate for RIM's golden goose since 2007. I'm talking since BEFORE it became "cool" to own one. You know, when it was really just a business phone for old white men? Yea. Even then I owned one. When it was a big black walkie talkie.

So the week leading up to Christmas when I switched over to the HTC EVO......

.....I experienced the best features a phone could possibly offer....

....I played "Angry Birds" and fake versions of "Fruit Ninja" til the wee hours of the morning...

....and the gentle touch from my fingers created something more than an erection.

I mean the EVO is the best mobile device that the Sprint Network could offer, hands down. 

I give it two thumbs up and an orgasm for all of its features.

Tango's facetime, free mp3 downloads, an array full of games...I recommend it for ANYONE considering the switch to Sprint or in need of a new phone, period.

 BUT I GAVE IT BACK AFTER TWO DAYS!!!

I know! I'm so ashamed! I passed up a perfectly good phone for a damn Blackberry.

I couldn't help it. I bared the ridicule from those around me just because I'm addicted to the BBM. (As if there isn't AIM, YAHOO, GOOGLE, MSN)

     I'm really convinced that there is a mind altering kinetic wave given off via BBM because the addiction is really that of the best ecstasy I have EVER popped in my life.

 Which is none.

But I am pretty sure if I did I'd get the same effect! 

With all of this said....PLEASE, if you do NOT own a Blackberry, then DO NOT START!!! Do NOT let ANYONE talk you into joining the cult. When you go to AT&T, TMobile, Sprint, Verizon, you march yourself right outta there with a BETTER phone. TRUST ME.

I left a PERFECTLY good plan, fuck what is probably the BEST plan from Sprint just to get the Torch....*bbm embarrassed* <---- SEE? We even insert BBM smileys into regular conversations....

ahhh fuck it man I <3 My Blackberry and I will never part. As shitty as he is, he pleases me. Like when I stay in a fucked up relationship bc the sex is good. Thats pretty much the ONLY reason to get the phone.... 

Cuz sometimes a skeeza needs some love too!

Enjoy!!! ;)

Pleasantly Surprised!

So I have finally given in to this Miguel Jontel character.

as ugly as he is, he has a pretty cool vibe. I was never a fan of his duet with J. Cole...probably because I think he is one of thee lamest rappers to date but either way, the song didn't make it to my ipod...or itunes for that matter.

It wasn't until a few days ago that I discovered my new musical fixation.

(aka the newest song for me to continuously play until it becomes radio friendly).

But kudos to my bff for putting me on!!! *bbm hug*

"Be My Vixen" has got to be one of the best r&b tracks I have heard in ages. And this is coming from a die hard TRIGGA TREY YUUUUP all I wanna do is let you beat fan. But Senor Jontel has DEFINITELY sidetracked me from listening to my boo. I mean everything about the song is official. The beat, the lyrics, the ambiance...its just a really smooth joint that makes you wanna have great, passionate sex. And maybe even some spooning!

With that said, I also checked out his other stuff.....

ehhhhhhhh *STACK BUNDLES VOICE*

not so appealing.

Although "Sure Thing" is also a really good one to listen to as well. The lyrics are meaningful and its overall a good banger but after hearing "Be My Vixen", nothing else really compares...

Anyway, if you're looking for some good music, these two songs will be sure to give you a pleasant surprise ;)

Epidemic...

Why does it seem as if EVERY uterus I brush pass has something in it? I mean, seriously guy. Its like every bitch, (and YES I use that term with as much hate that can possibly go into a word) is fucking pregnant. What happened to birth control? It's like no one even believes in abortion anymore. 

I'm beginning to think that my biggest fear of getting knocked up is the reason that I'm seeing all these damn penguins waddling around New York City. Its gotten to the point where I just play number games in my head whilst bra shopping around Manhattan. Wtf is it with this shit? Was there a memo for everyone to get prego in 2009-....? I log on FB and see statuses about soon to be mothers, BBM display pics of fucking sonograms, texts saying "I'm already in my third trimester guys."...well whoopti fuckin doo.

I don't care about your embryo, fetus, baby etc. What I do care about is that I don't obtain one throughout my lifetime. It's like bc you're 24 and up you need a family? ehhhhhh

YAHHH BITCH YAHHHH

I'm literally disgusted. Is it in the water? The fast food chains? The metrocard machines? I mean someone fucking tell me bc this shit right hurr niccah *insert Kat Williams voice* is not something to be taken lightly.

My intent is NOT to offend or take away the joyful feeling of pregnancy. If that's what you want for yourself then by all means, go for it! But EVERY woman within a 5 mile radius CANNOT all have the same damn dream. In '08 we saw the year of the model.

..and although I was uber annoyed that each and every slut aspired to be a vixen, at least they aspired! They really believed that they had what it took to become the next big thing. I was a real ass. Who am I to belittle someone's hopes and desires? someone's most passionate, innate fixation to be respected for being naked on internet social sites in pictures taken with a camera phone and photo shopped on Mac? Those girls had goals. Even if none of us understood them, it shouldn't have been discredited.
So lets repent.

Lets compensate.

Lets get rid of pregnant women and bring back the models?

I mean while we're at it.

How about we just get rid of the female reproductive system altogether?

Life should be fair. I should be able to have unprotected sex without worrying about pregnancy. Men can.

They can sleep with whomever they please, raw bone and all, and not have to worry about fatherhood. They have the luxury of up and leaving.

I mean of course I do as well but it would cost me anywhere between four and six hundred dollars depending...

Ahhh just my thoughts as an anti-pregnancy advocate.

Back to the normally scheduled program ;)

Why Hello there!

Just need to get the hang of this whole blogging thing. But just know that the world will never be the same!