Epidemic...

Why does it seem as if EVERY uterus I brush pass has something in it? I mean, seriously guy. Its like every bitch, (and YES I use that term with as much hate that can possibly go into a word) is fucking pregnant. What happened to birth control? It's like no one even believes in abortion anymore. 

I'm beginning to think that my biggest fear of getting knocked up is the reason that I'm seeing all these damn penguins waddling around New York City. Its gotten to the point where I just play number games in my head whilst bra shopping around Manhattan. Wtf is it with this shit? Was there a memo for everyone to get prego in 2009-....? I log on FB and see statuses about soon to be mothers, BBM display pics of fucking sonograms, texts saying "I'm already in my third trimester guys."...well whoopti fuckin doo.

I don't care about your embryo, fetus, baby etc. What I do care about is that I don't obtain one throughout my lifetime. It's like bc you're 24 and up you need a family? ehhhhhh

YAHHH BITCH YAHHHH

I'm literally disgusted. Is it in the water? The fast food chains? The metrocard machines? I mean someone fucking tell me bc this shit right hurr niccah *insert Kat Williams voice* is not something to be taken lightly.

My intent is NOT to offend or take away the joyful feeling of pregnancy. If that's what you want for yourself then by all means, go for it! But EVERY woman within a 5 mile radius CANNOT all have the same damn dream. In '08 we saw the year of the model.

..and although I was uber annoyed that each and every slut aspired to be a vixen, at least they aspired! They really believed that they had what it took to become the next big thing. I was a real ass. Who am I to belittle someone's hopes and desires? someone's most passionate, innate fixation to be respected for being naked on internet social sites in pictures taken with a camera phone and photo shopped on Mac? Those girls had goals. Even if none of us understood them, it shouldn't have been discredited.
So lets repent.

Lets compensate.

Lets get rid of pregnant women and bring back the models?

I mean while we're at it.

How about we just get rid of the female reproductive system altogether?

Life should be fair. I should be able to have unprotected sex without worrying about pregnancy. Men can.

They can sleep with whomever they please, raw bone and all, and not have to worry about fatherhood. They have the luxury of up and leaving.

I mean of course I do as well but it would cost me anywhere between four and six hundred dollars depending...

Ahhh just my thoughts as an anti-pregnancy advocate.

Back to the normally scheduled program ;)